Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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