I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
