My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
