She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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