the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize