Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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