She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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