we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
