who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
