you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
