We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
