The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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