I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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