Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
