i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
