he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
