My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
