So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize