you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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