are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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