so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You don't make any sense
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