We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
