And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
