He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
