there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
