If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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