i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
