I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Everything about him screamed your future.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
