Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize