Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
