you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
