her vagine was all disorganized.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
