idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
