Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
