your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I faked an abortion last night.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
