I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm passing your future prison.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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