Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
we're making bets on your personal life
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
