woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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