I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
In America we eat man semen.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
