One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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