Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize