I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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