I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
