u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
