I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize