is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
