Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
