He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
