trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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