This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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