i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
