I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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