I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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