ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize