A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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