I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
