Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
