im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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