Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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